Oblivion
by SANCS
Summary: AU: After disappearing for months, Gajeel comes back from a secret mission beat up to the brink of death and unconscious. When he wakes up he has lost his memory. Levy is determined to find out what happened to him even if this means giving up her innocence and happiness. Rated M for graphic scenes, including torture, blood and other dark themes
1. Chapter 1

The air is cold around me. Snow touches my bare arms while I'm running as hard as I'm able to. It's winter and I'm not dressed for the season but I don't care. I just need to see him. He had been gone for so long. He had be gone for months, I never gave up on him. I knew he would come back. I just wished it wasn't like this. Why couldn't he just come back uninjured. Smiling his stupid smile and saying sorry for being late. I didn't even know what was wrong with him, but Mirajane's panicked voice asking me to come to the guild as soon as possible said enough. This is going to be bad.

With my cold skin, burning lungs and tired legs I finally manage to reach the guild. I open the doors and for a moment I notice how people look at me. Pity is what is written on their faces. An emotion I could only recognise in the short moment I saw it because as soon as I looked around they looked away, almost if they were scared to look at me. My heart races and I'm starting to feel sick. Cold sweat covering my body. I need to see him. I run to the infirmary where I bump into Mirajane. "Levy! You're he..." I couldn't listen to her, my mind was focused on one thing and one thing only. Him.

I open door one and I frantically look around. He wasn't there.

Door two he wasn't there.

Door three. My hand trembles as it rests on the doorknob. Suddenly I'm scared. It's the last room, I know he is in there. What if he is barely alive. What If he is a lost cause. I try to calm myself. It won't be like that, I tell myself. Gajeel is one of the strongest people I know. He will be okay. He must be. I open the door, and as soon as I do I wish I hadn't. The strongest man I know doesn't look strong at all. He looked pale, way paler then his normally tanned skin. He was covered in bruises and cuts, but that wasn't the worst. The tubes, those made my stomach turn. So much tubes and needles. He is even hooked up to a monitor showing his vital signs and heart beat.

I feel a lump in my throat and somehow I'm unable to move. He has been bruised and injured like this before but something felt so wrong. I notice Mirajane entered the room. I try to speak but my voice got caught in my throat. A soft hand touches my shoulder.

"Wha- what's wrong with him?" I barely whisper. Mirajane enters my eyesight, looking worried as ever. "We don't know yet. Physically he is alright, he'll live. He is just not waking up." Now I know for sure I'm feeling sick. "Levy, you look really pale please sit down." So I did, I followed her like a lifeless doll and took a seat. "Were you aware of the kind of mission he went on, Levy?" I shake my head. He didn't tell me about it, not really. He was really vague about it, said he wanted to get stronger, he would go train for some months, fight some bandits here and there, he didn't even take Panther Lily with him. I didn't even think about it twice back then. I should have. "Tell me what happened Mira." I said softly.

And she did. Guess what, stupid Gajeel went on a mission to infiltrate Phantom Lord. He got found out. They apparently kept him as a prisoner after that. We don't know what happened to him there. Makarov lost contact with him after that. Months later they found him, deserted in the woods that are surrounding Magnolia, beat up almost to the brink of death. And now he doesn't wake up.

So here I am, it's been almost three weeks and I haven't left his side ever since. I've been keeping an eye on him day and night. Making sure his hearth wouldn't stop all of the sudden. But his hearth kept beating. The beeping sounds of the monitor became comforting to me. Of course those sounds wouldn't let me sleep, but I didn't really want to. I wanted to keep my eyes on Gajeel all times. But I was really getting tired. And a lot of my friends started to worry about me.

"Levy, you need to eat." Yet would say. "Levy, you need sleep." Droy would say. Lucy would visit me a lot with a concerned look in her eyes. Even Master Makarov came by a lot, Mirajane told me it's out of guilt. Master Makarov feels like it's his fault that Gajeel is like this now. I don't really want to think about if it is his fault or not. Gajeel would do anything for master. He's past never really left him, it followed him like a shadow. He always got reminded of his darker days, his Phantom Lord days, and he feels like he should do anything to make up for what happened back then. Makarov said he would never forgive him for that and so Gajeel has never forgiven himself. I feel like I can't really blame Makarov for asking Gajeel to do this. And I can't blame Gajeel for accepting. The only one I want to blame is the person who did this to him. The bastard will pay, I will seek my revenge. But for now I just have to stay by Gajeel's side.

I stare at him, at his body. He is healing, but the dark blue almost black bruises have turned yellow and green, some even brown. Like leaves changing colour when summer turns into fall. His wounds are closing up. Some big long cuts on his back are taking their time though. His wounds are awfully suggesting, and I keep thinking about the scenarios that could have happened for him to end up like this. None of them were comforting. I tried not to think about it. I just try to keep focussing on making him better. Like Makaroc said, him getting better is the priority, questions and pay back will have to come later.

This happening to him, he should have seen how everyone reacted. Word got out what happened to him. What kind of mission he went on for Fairy Tail's sake. He came a long way form being the hated lonely enemy. From taking Yet's, Droy's and Laxus' hits, hoping it would satisfy their need for payback. Hoping that would make it a little bit more alright. He came such a long way. And now everyone is realizing his worth, like I did.

Natsu wasn't at the guild when Gajeel came in. After Natsu heard the news, when he returned from a mission he got angry. He stormed into the infirmary, fire breathing and all. He started yelling at him. To stop his stupid joke and get up already. He's words sounded like he was joking around, but his eyes told another story. Gajeel and Natsu shared the same sad story. The story of their dragons disappearing. They may fight a lot. But they have also bonded a lot.

At one point Natsu's rage disappeared. Nowadays he always visits after he comes back from a mission, and he will tell Gajeel all about it. Porlyusica said there's a chance he can hear us, that he might be conscious but that he's unable to move his body. Natsu thought Gajeel would be bored out of his mind, so he made it his job to bring him entertaining stories. I know Natsu's isn't as dense as he looks. And at first sight it might seem like he isn't taking this hard at all, but I know Natsu cares a lot and he is not stupid. But even when it's obvious that he is faking his smile and excitement like nothing is wrong, I do appreciate it. Most people are so serious, the pity me, pity Gajeel. I know Gajeel would hate it if he knew they did. So I appreciate that Natsu is treating him the same as he did before. Gajeel would like it.

Wendy is having a hard time I noticed. As a fellow dragons slayer and a guild mate she looks up to Gajeel and Natsu. I think she might even see them as big brothers. She doesn't visit as much as Natsu but I get why. She doesn't deal with it like Natsu does. She can't pretend like everything is fine. Wendy gets really quiet and really sad when she sees Gajeel. Just like me she sees him like such a strong person. It is hard to see someone you look up to like this. I get it. Luckily Natsu looks out for her. He always tries to lift her spirit and make her laugh.

Of course there is someone who visits him the most. Panther Lily. The bond between those two is stronger than most can imagine. Pather Lily feels terrible seeing his partner like this, but he hasn't lost hope once. We actually find it comforting to talk about him together. About some sides of him that only people close to him know about and about the adventures the two of those went on. We got even closer since Gajeel got injured. Panther didn't sleep at home most of the time. He said he was restless and that he fell asleep easier next to the iron dragon slayer. Even though he said that, a lot of those nights were spend wide awake. Just like mine.

I'm almost done changing his bandages when Lucy comes in. "Hey." She says while leaning against the door frame. "How is he doing?" She nods her head towards Gajeel. "The same, I mean physically he's healing. But... yeah, still the same." Lucy sighs and with a determent look she closes the door and takes a seat across of me. "Look Levy. The whole guild is thinking the same thing for a while now and no one is speaking up but you need to hear this." I couldn't say I was surprised. I knew this was coming. "We're all worried about you. You don't sleep, don't eat. You need to take care of yourself." "Lucy, I'm fi-" "You're not Levy, and you know it." Lucy interrupts me. "Just please go home for one day, take a relaxing bath. Have a good night of sleep. Eat a good meal for once. Gajeel wouldn't want you to be like this." I couldn't really defend myself, because I know she was right. I perfectly well imagine Gajeel nagging me for doing this. "I just don't like the idea of leaving him." I say while staring at my hands."Just one day, Levy. Gajeel will be alright. He's been stable for a long time. A lot of people are looking out for him." I look at Gajeel's face. "I don't know Lucy, what if something happe-" "You'll be the first to know, really Levy it will be okay." I stare into Lucy's eyes, I know that look and that's when I know there's really no way she's giving up. She has set her mind on this, she will probably go as far as forcefully dragging me to my bed if she has to. "Okay." I say. Giving in is my only option now. "I'll do it. But only for one day." Lucy starts smiling and looks relieved. "And I'll come back as soon as I wake up." "Deal!"

Only after reaching fairy hills did I realize how tired I actually am. Not giving in to the desire of just collapsing on my bed to sleep, I decided should take a bath and eat a meal. Lucy can be really scary if she want's to be. And honestly a bath sounds really nice. I open the room to my door and notice the nice smell of food lingering in my house. I close the door behind me and reach the kitchen to find the source of the smell. I smile when I see the cooked meal in my kitchen. I read the note next to it. 'Don't you dare order some kind of fast-food! Enjoy this meal instead. - Lucy' A smile at her note. Lucy is such a great friend. I take a seat and enjoy the soup Lucy cooked for me.

After my stomach is filled and my body is relaxed from the bath I took, I collapse on my bed. I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep without the comforting beeping sound that accompanied me these last weeks. But my tiredness proved me wrong. I fell asleep almost as soon as my head touched my pillow.


	2. Chapter 2

I slowly wake up. Still half asleep and unable to use my head properly I cover up my face with my covers to hide them from the harsh light. Wait. Suddenly fully awake I stare at my surroundings. I look out of the window and the sun is already high up in the sky. "Ugh, I overslept. What time is it even." I look at my clock on the wall. It is 4 in the afternoon. I never slept in that long before. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes I reach for the bottle of water on my nightstand only for my hand to freeze in the air. I stare at the flickering Lacrima on my nightstand. My eyes grow wide, realization hit me. I grab the Lacrima. Lucy tried to contact my a lot. While I'm holding the Lacrima in my hands Lucy contacts me again, this time I'm able to accept her call.

"Levy? You're finally answering, why didn't you before?" "That's not important. What is going on?" I ask. God, I feel so nervous. And it probably shows. I didn't try to hide the scared look on my face. "Calm down Levy! Listen to me. Gajeel woke up." Silence falls between us. "W-what?" I ask full of disbelief. "He woke up, Levy." Part of me didn't believe it, but a bigger part of me wanted it to be true, I wanted it to be true so bad . So I got excited, even though there was this part of my that felt really unsure about it. I just pushed that part away.

"I can't believe it, he actually woke up." A big smile spreads on my face. I got up real fast. I have to see him. I don't care that I have bed hair and that I'm in a big sweater and pyjama pants, I have to go. Now! I grab my coat and grab the first pair of shoes I can find. I vaguely hear Lucy voice saying "Levy wait, he-" but her words never really reached my ears.

I'm running trough the cold again, like last time my lungs burn, the cold bites in my skin and my legs are aching but all I can really feel is hope. It's driving me forward. Making me run even faster and before I know it I've reached the guild. I walk in a fast pace through the guild not noticing the sad eyes of my guild mates. I almost reach the infirmary, just a few steps now. I grab the doorknob and open up the door. And there he is. He's sitting, a nice change after seeing him laying down for such a long time. The tubes and needles are gone. Only the wounds remain, which Mirajane is attending to at the moment. He looks like him again. I stare at him while happy tears fill up my eyes. I'm finally able to find my voice again. So I call out to him. "Gajeel!" He finally notices me and looks at me. Everything was finally right again. He's back and I can finally be okay again. At least that's what I thought. Gajeel stares at me with a confused distant look.

 **"Who are you?"**

Those words hit my like a brick in the face. Suddenly I can't breathe. He is joking right? Stupid Gajeel is just trying to be funny. "You really shouldn't be joking about this, Gajeel." He now frowns at me with those red eyes of him. "He IS joking, Right?" I force myself to look at Mirjane hoping she will stop this nonsense. "Mirajane, Gajeel is joking right?" I see her biting her lip and gulping. "Mirajane..." It almost sounded like I was begging. Just please say something! I switch my eyes back to the source of my anxiety. He just looks at Mirajane. "Seriously, Who is this weird woman?" He asks in an annoyed voice. Mirajane stays quiet but finally looks me in the eyes. She said nothing but she didn't have to. The look on her face confirmed what I feared to be true. Gajeel raises an eyebrow at us. I can't stand it, I can't stand the distant look in his eyes. So I turn around and I walk away.

Somehow I ended up here again. I stare at the tree. The one that bears physical scars from back then. I just stare at it and stare at it. I just stare, because I can't think and I don't want to think. I feel drained, like that walk from the infirmary to the park was as exhausting as running a marathon. It doesn't feel real somehow. Somehow my brain just can't process what I just saw with my own two eyes. It can't be real, it just can't be. It must be some kind of messed up dream right. This isn't right. He was supposed to wake up and he would be happy to see me and he would recover and soon it would all be normal again. He would fight with Natsu and Gray and go on missions with Panther Lily. He would ask me to go along with them once in a while. His life would get back on track. This is not how it should be. I grab my head in frustration. I just feel lost right now this is the worst plot twist that could have happened.

I feel all kind of emotions and I want to scream, yell or cry but at the same time I feel so empty and emotionless. I feel like I should have cried by now but it doesn't happen.I don't know how long it's been since I ran out of the guild but I realize my butt is actually frozen now. I sigh start to get up when someone plops down next to me with a heavy sigh. I don't need to look to know it is Lucy.

"I told you to wait you know." She says. I can't think of a response so I just stay quiet. "He can't remember us. He does remember everything before ever meeting fairy tail though. At least for now. They think he became like that because of magic. His head wasn't injured." I don't say anything but nod my head to let Lucy know I was listening. "Porlyusica is trying to figure out right now what is going on with him, and if she can help him." It became silent we stare in the distance. Then I feel her hand grabbing mine. "Don't lose hope yet. We don't know anything for sure yet. Maybe he's memories will return in a few days."

I'm not sure what I think about what Lucy said, right now it feels like this will never be fixed. And I'm too scared to hope for it to happen, I feel like I'll only be disappointed. But I just nod like I agree with her, not wanting to talk about this any longer.

We stayed like that for a long time. Just sitting there, her hand holding mine and me trying to arrange my thoughts. At some point we just stood up and went home. We went our separate ways. I went back home. I didn't want to be at the guild right now.

Hours later I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. It still didn't feel real. It feels like someone has pushed on the pause button of my life or like I'm in a book or a movie. Or like I will wake up soon. It sure as hell doesn't feel real. And you know, with my head I can kind off progress what happened but my hearth doesn't follow. I roll on my side and stare at the dark world outside of my window. I keep trying to make myself realize what happened. Gajeel doesn't remember us. He doesn't remember me. I keep repeating it in my head. Over and over again, but my hearth still can't follow. It doesn't want to.

Without having closed my eyes even once that night I get up again. Morning has arrived. It's time to go to the guild. This morning however was almost like the opposite of the one of the day before. I took my time to take a bath to eat breakfast to get dressed. I just kept dragging it out. Something in me didn't want to face him again. So at one point there was nothing left to do at home anymore. I was ready to go out and there was really no excuse for me to stay home any longer.

I stare at my front door. I walk towards it and grab the doorknob. I don't open it. For a minute I just stand there. Resting my head against the door, closing my eyes, preparing myself for the worst. Calming my anxiety filled thoughts. Emptying it all. And then I do it. After all, I have to face the truth at one point.

When I visit him he is still sleeping, it's early in the morning after all. Gajeel likes to be lazy at times, he likes to sleep in if he gets the chance. I'm glad that hasn't changed about him. I take a seat next to him and stare at his peaceful sleeping face. When he sleeps it feels like he hasn't changed at all. But I'm scared for him to open his eyes. Will he look at me like I'm a stranger again. I'm scared of him being like that. So let's just enjoy this as long as he stays asleep. I grab his hand and I let my head rest on his mattress.

I take it all in. His tanned face, his piercings, his cheekbones, his jaw. And his arms, his muscles and the scars. His messy black hair. I looked at all of him. The only thing missing would be his warm eyes that would gaze at me. It's not like I've never looked at him like this before. it is just that I don't know when or if I'm ever able to be this close to him again. And I'm scared that I will forget, I don't want to forget. It's already bad that he did, so I should be the one to remember.

I see his eyes moving behind his eyelids, telling me he's waking up. I don't want to be here when he wakes up.

I get up and turn away. I start to walk away but a noise stops me. A painful groan. Worried I turn around again. I look at him. A frown between his eyebrows sweat on his forehead. He got really pale and the skin around his eyes looked red. He looked really in pain. He groans again, I hurry to his side and grab his suddenly cold hands. What is wrong with him?! Then suddenly black letters are all over him, covering all of his skin. It's like they're strangling him. Before I can even try to read it the letters had already disappeared.

He looked normal again, no sweat, warm hands. There were no signs at all that what just happened was real. Did I imagine it. I didn't sleep at all last night, am I hallucinating? No I couldn't have, it felt so real. But it can't be real. He can't be sweating and looking like he's getting tortured and look like it never happened seconds later. It must have been me. I should stop being so paranoid, my brain was probably just unable to work properly cause the lack of sleep. Gajeel is okay and that is all that matters.

I let go of his hand again and get up to leave his room. This time undisturbed by my brain trying to fuck with me.

It was only a few days later on a mission when I started to question if what I saw really was just an hallucination. I needed an excuse to not be at guild. Being around Gajeel right now was hard. So I decided to go on a mission. The mission asked for someone specialized in language. I didn't really know what it was about until I arrived at the missions location. A girl was found in the woods her skin covered in black letters. No one knows where she came from or who she is. They think the letters might tell us more about her. That's where I came in.

I entered the room she was in. Her eyes were clouded over and apparently she hasn't talked once since the family that found her took her in. But that wasn't the weirdest part, sure when I heard that her skin was covered in black letters it did make me think of what happened with Gajeel, but I thought I was being ridiculous. But when I look at her appearance I realized that what happened might have been real.

Sweat was covering her forehead, she looked pale and the skin around her eyes was red. I crouch down before her. "Is it okay if I touch your hands?" I ask her. She didn't answer, sure I expected her not to answer, she seems to be mute after all, but it felt like she didn't even notice me. She didn't move, she just stared out of the window with an emotionless face. I sigh. "I hope you don't mind I want to check something." Again no answer. I touch her hands, they were cold. Just like his were. I drop my hands back in my lap. "Thanks for letting me check." I say. I look at her empty eyes. She looks like a lifeless doll. Has she also lost her memory? Looking at this girl made me scared. What if this is what will happen to Gajeel. I can't imagine it.

This mission wasn't just about this girl anymore and therefore I worked even harder. The letters were foreign to me, and that says something. I know how to read, speak and write language that have been dead for centuries. I am unable to read these letters, It doesn't even look like anything I've seen before. I hate this, I know so many dead languages, why cant I read this one. It just had to be a language unknown to me. It could've been written in Sanskrit, Akkadian or Hattic and I would have been able to read this. All this time I spend learning these languages and I can't even translate the text I want to translate so desperately.

I didn't want to give up just yet. I used a lacrima to scan the letters so I could research it at home. I didn't want to bother the girl anymore. I look at the girl again. I smile and wave at her. "Goodbye kid. Maybe we'll see each other again someday." The girl didn't react. I smile a sad smile. "I hope you get better." I say softly while I leaving her room.

I promised to contact the girl's caretakers if I found something useful. They were sad I didn't find anything that could help the girl yet, they had hoped I could help her go back to where she belongs. They think she has a worrying family somewhere looking for her. They promised me that they would too take care of her as long as they would have to. Even if we never find out who she is and where her family is. If she has one that is. It's nice to know she ended up with such nice people. Something inside of me wanted to safe this girl, wanted her to lose those empty eyes and to be happy. I dared to hope for this girl. Because I feel like if I'm able to safe this girl, I'll be able to safe Gajeel.


End file.
